Thornton Melon 2: April 2006

Bad Jocks

featuring WVU's own Pac Man Jones among others

Pac Man sounds a little pissed

cool music plugin

Woman Says God Told Her To Keep Driving During Chase

What KOTG needs

Woman Teacher Accused Of Sex With 4 Students

another student fucker

Sex On Menu At Hooters?
Suit: Staff trainer suggested waitresses put out for extra bucks

TV station declines to air Good Friday baseball game

beat the pros in poker

Ninja threat on campus

for pittswallows

even Howard looks amazed

Top 10 terrorists

Blaine to swim with the fishes

Why Windows Vista Won't Suck

Thhe limojet, just what it sounds like

Fla.'s Newest Problem: Burmese Pythons

Joke time

A man and his wife are at the zoo. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large, hairy gorilla. Noticing her, the gorilla starts bouncing around his cage. He jumps up on the bars and, holding on with one hand, grunts and pounds his chest.

The husband, finding this funny, suggests that his wife tease the poor primate. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would raise the dead. Then, the husband suggests that she let one of the straps to her dress fall to show a bit more skin.

She does and Mr. Gorilla nearly tears the bars down. "Now, lift your dress up to your thighs and sort of fan it at him," says the man. She does, driving the gorilla absolutely crazy to the point at which he starts doing flips.

Then, the husband grabs his wife, throws open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.

"Now tell HIM you have a headache."

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000.

The bank officers says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked on the street, in front of the bank.

Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5000, and the interest, which is $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5000?"

The blonde replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for $15.00?